While Twitter has a penchant for being a black hole where time and happiness go to perish, it’s sometimes really, really good. This week it’s been at its best, with many users sharing stories about their very on-brand childhood moments.
If you’re not clear what on brand is, here’s the best example we can give you: Mariah Carey wearing glitter is wholly on brand. If you’re still lost, we can’t help you past this point.
The storytelling in this Twitter phenomenon began after a July 7 tweet asked people to share their tales. That user wrote of an act of defiance that turned … uh … bad:
What’s the most On Brand™️ story you have from your early childhood.
Mine is when my mom told me not to touch the electric stove when it was red, because that meant it was hot, so I made direct eye contact with her and slapped my hand down on the stove top.
— mu✨ (@prinxeMu) July 8, 2018
The responses to the initial tweet have been quite the treat. They’ve been funny, sometimes poignant and mostly weird. Who among us was not at least a little bit weird as a child?
Here are some of our favorites:
disqualified in the final round of an elementary school spelling bee for doing the d-generation x crotch chop after correctly spelling “birthday” https://t.co/l65dyopWk5
— rob whisman (@robwhisman) July 9, 2018
5 or so yrs old, in a roomful of extended family, all talking over me so i clambered onto the table and yelled, ‘EVERYONE SHUT UP.’ dad gently admonished me. ‘but i have so much to say,’ i replied. https://t.co/HQsIJFotBm
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) July 10, 2018
One time in 6th grade, I was trying to unicycle all the way around the parking lot of the Mormon church near my house. My friend Brian found a porn magazine in the bushes and showed me. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be looking at that stuff & started crying/slowly unicycled home https://t.co/ADMscl46ui
— Avery Monsen (@averymonsen) July 10, 2018
When I was in 5th grade I tried to give my friend homework where we’d each go home and write a paragraph about a character from Friends.
Not fanfic. Analysis. I was 11. I have always needed to calm down. https://t.co/QKZn7zqcxt
— A.B. soon to be at SDCC (@AlannaBennett) July 9, 2018
I’ve literally NEVER TOLD A SOUL this story: When I was 10 or 11 at sleepaway camp, I folded my dirty clothes in my laundry bag before sending them to the wash.
That week, my bunk got scolded for sending clean clothes to the laundry. They weren’t clean! Just … folded. https://t.co/J8DWtCXzrU
— Jolie Kerr (@joliekerr) July 10, 2018
Telling the other kids at school not to tell me secrets if they were uncomfortable with me telling my mom about them. https://t.co/XxY8K5EDtZ
— Tessa Violet (@TessaViolet) July 10, 2018
When I was 8, my 3rd grade teacher left all the Black girls except for me off the program for our class play. I asked her if she had left all the people with two Black parents off because she was a racist. She threw me out of the class. I promptly went to the library to read. https://t.co/sUZfTWH3s7
— Dr. T’Chanda Prescod-Weinstein🙅🏽♀️ 🇧🇧 (@IBJIYONGI) July 10, 2018
When I was 9, my parents babysat for a friend, and rather than try and get along with these two random kids I made them watch my ‘One-Woman Show’ and then participate in a follow-up Q&A. https://t.co/qXVqsMx9OB
— Chloe Dungate (@ScarfDemon) July 9, 2018
i grew up reading the narnia books and was desperate to find a portal to another world so i would walk through any door or closet in sight
this included neighbors’ front doors and lemme tell ya were they surprised to see this random kid walking into their livin rooms https://t.co/C7GRPJLhKE
— Anelien (@cupcakelogic) July 9, 2018
I accidentally wore my Spiderman pajama top to school in kindergarten, and was mortified upon realizing. Another kid was all, “hey, cool shirt,” and I burst in to tears yelling, “it’s my pajamas!” Still can’t take a compliment. https://t.co/uMPLlmT1l2
— Michael Bourret (@MichaelBourret) July 9, 2018
I somehow convinced my fourth grade teacher to let me tell the entire greek myth of Perseus to the class. The entire myth takes like 40 minutes to tell. I memorized and performed the whole thing. This was not for any sort of class project or assignment. https://t.co/7Gf5v6qqSy
— Joseph Fink (@PlanetofFinks) July 9, 2018
Ah, bless all their little hearts.